And, so, we begin…

Garden Path

Lost and Find

She wanders alone and lost. The rage gone from her.
The pain a memory leaving in it’s wake a nothingness.

She is exhausted and hurting at the core. Her hands and knees bloody from the struggle. She should have known well enough that passivity would cause less pain, less sorrow.

Why must she always fight so hard? Why instead can she not acquiesce, accept, accede.
She aches, cold and lonely.

She struggles to find her way, struggles with the want to simply sit
and let the nothingness carry her away.

Her stubborn will pushes her on, forward to find the light, find the warmth,
find the love, find her way home.

Reflection of broken mirror

Puzzle Life

One moment of joy
One moment of bliss
One perfect caress
One true kiss

My life before me
Like a broken mirror

If only I could patch the glass
And find my destiny

A glimmer here
A sigh over there
One brief sense of safety

Fingers bleeding
The puzzle fits together again

Little green hummingbird

Have I ever cried like this before?

All those dress rehearsals to find that Love can be so pure. It breathes a life of it’s own within me. I want to stop it, to make it understand there is no place for it to go but the heart of it keeps beating.

I cannot regret this hurt because I love, and even this horrible hurt is more than I would have if he had not come into my life. I am all but delirious in my need to feel him beside me again, just once more, to sit side by side and feel the tug of what could have been. I would not trade a moment of this terrible hurt if it meant that I would have to give back the moments I cherish.

To find such total joy and have it taken after one small glance is a bitter thing. Yet now I truly understand that it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

We are helpless creatures, we cannot choose who or when we love. But we should rejoice that we are allowed these beautiful feelings, even if they are fleeting. What would life be without the contrasts of love and loss.

Love background

Loving Unconditionally

Love shouldn't make you feel like nothing,
it should let you feel like something.
- Suanne

What we lost here is something better left alone,
second steps have been forgotten,
will you tell me how they go?
Set yourself, situate, like a fool try again.
There’s no one around you can remember
being good, for you.
So shame, shouldn’t try you,
couldn’t step by you and open up more shame.
– matchbox 20

Loving unconditionally is the most beautiful thing a person
can acheive. To know such joy and goodwill is to know
and touch divinity. It is to be one with a
reverant and peaceful light.
– Suanne

Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each
other but in looking outward together in the same direction.
– Antione de Saint-Exupery

You don't seem to know - or seem to care what your heart
is for...Nothing's fine, I'm torn. I'm all out of faith,
this is how I feel. I am cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor
...I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn...
there's just so many things that I can't touch, I'm torn.
- n. imbruglia

Love is neither a greedy child or a selfless Martyr.
– Suanne

Dramatic sunset sky approaching thunderstorm clouds.

As open as the sky

The Character: Maya – The Movie: Kama Sutra
Knowing love,
I will allow all things to come and go,
to be as supple as the wind
and take everything that comes with great courage.

As Rasa would say to me “Life is right in any case.”

My heart is as open as the sky.

When a love, or loved one, is lost and there is pain, you have still had love. Do not be afraid of the feelings that love opens you to. Don’t hide from the possibilities – Open yourself to them, embrace them. Strive for the place in your soul where you can accept the things that come to you, good and bad, first with understanding rather then reaction. Appreciate the things that life and people can offer you. Be open to new ideas, people and new ways of doing things.

Yes, we suffer as we grow and learn in our lifetimes, some more then others. That doesn’t mean that we will always suffer, that everything will bring us pain. Some things will bring us joy and pleasure and we deserve those things, we’ve earned them. Happiness a our right, but we cannot have happiness or true joy by being closed off to the experiences around us.

In the movie Maya learns that having love, even for a short time, is worth whatever pain she suffered from it. And, although her love is taken from her she knows that she must continue to be open to new things or she will not find love again.

When terrible things happen to us we must go on, because if we don’t, if we always struggle against the possibility that something is going to hurt us, we close the doors on the good things that can come to us as well.

Fireplace

Warmth…

She rested on a soft bed, quiet, clean and well fed. The Traveller smiled gazing at the hearth and ths soft glow of embers burning there. Today she took refuge in a house that seemed to be an old friend. The gentle folk who welcomed her recognized her at once. Stories drifted of her journey throughout the land. They had always hoped to see her on their road, they’d set aside a special cloak as a gift in preparation.

When she arrived they’d made a special soup of wild greens in broth thick and warm, hot bread with honey sat beside a cup of cider. A perfumed bath had been prepared. Her hair was washed and brushed to a high shine. She was dressed in a new gown of saffron wool, she gleamed like a fairy. So much warmth and comfort, so much goodness and acceptance.

These were people truly blessed for the Traveller spoke, her voice soft and steady, of her journey and of times long ago. There was no question of her wisdom or the truth in her words. The glowing light showed the honesty from within, they were enraptured by what they heard.

And though she would leave to continue her quest, there would always be this warm bed where she might rest. Always welcoming arms to embrace her, always a place to call home.