I’m a big believer in the effects of positive thought on mood and life experience. With the coming holiday, I just wanted to share how thankful I am to have you in my circle so I created this 8.5 x 11 high-quality printable artwork from some Lisa Glanz clipart. Just click on the image below and download the PDF to print, frame, and hang.
Do you ever have those moments when you’re so overwhelmed with worry that you just can’t think straight? How do you even begin to clear out the mental clutter (stress, panic, worry, frustration) and work towards a solution? What about when you’re in a situation where you’re not even sure there’s a solution? Or, when you feel like you don’t have any control? I’ve visited that state of overwhelm quite often as I struggled with ADD and anxiety. During high-school, I found this super simple tool to help me narrow my racing thoughts while allowing me to focus on small attainable goals. Today the guru’s call these goals SMART:
- Specific (simple, sensible, significant).
- Measurable (meaningful, motivating).
- Achievable (agreed, attainable).
- Relevant (reasonable, realistic and resourced, results-based).
- Time bound (time-based, time limited, time/cost limited, timely, time-sensitive).
But, I’m going to be really honest here – the idea of sitting down to write SMART goals can actually create a sense of overwhelm for me. I know it’s just semantics, but somehow calling them SMART changes the way my brain processes the task. When you’re overwhelmed the most important thing is to find a way to focus and find relief – so, by all means, do what works best for you. The first time you use the worksheet go through each task before reading the next step, this will help you focus on each part of the process so you can understand how breaking things down to smaller thoughts can help.
The thing I’m most concerned about in my life right now is that there’s a lot of things going on as I transition my life from “full-time employee” to “Entrepreneur/Freelancer” and I’m worried about being so overwhelmed with everything that I’ll fail. In my next post, I’ll share my finished worksheet, and walk you through my own thought process while doing it.
I’ve used this technique to work through so many situations in my life from expanding my social circle, to ending a marriage, coming back from a major depression, healing from a dysfunctional family, and even my goals for this blog. I hope you’ll find it helpful as well.
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Don’t be afraid; You have a choice you can make, you can look back on your life with regrets for what it was and what it was not, or, you can look at who you are today and be thankful for that which made you, for those people and things that allowed you to grow. By choosing gratitude you allow yourself to be free from regrets, and even alleviate some of the pain. When you acknowledge that life is a growth process that never ends you can quit being so hard on yourself and so afraid of making mistakes or misjudgments. Mignon McLaughlin said it so well:
What you are today is the price you paid for what you used to want.
– Mignon McLaughlin
If you find yourself filled with regrets, take time and ask yourself what you would choose to be different in your life? If your life is happy and you’re good with where you’re at there’s no reason to hold onto regrets. If there are things you’d like to be different, things you find dissatisfying, then focus on those things and develop goals that will help you to achieve your hearts desire. And, in all of this remember that you cannot (and have never been able to) control anyone else’s actions only your own, and then move forward to achieve your goals. If you find yourself imagining blockers to change, accept that this is your fears talking, moving past those may be uncomfortable – isn’t a bit of discomfort worth removing the weights of regret?
Your goals don’t have to be big to be “important” they can be very simple. What really matters is your happiness and the satisfaction you find in your life – living a fulfilling life – that’s what it’s really all about. Sometimes when you’re making change it’s easiest to start small, to develop the practice of making different choices and to start questioning how you’ve always done something. Eventually you’ll find it easier, and less intimidating, to strive towards bigger and better things. You’ll learn to let go of fear as you begin to feel the balance shift.
If you find yourself focusing often on regrets, try turning those looks back at the past to more positive memories like your daydreams long gone. If you can focus on what you hoped to have in your life, what you imagined life would be, your passions, or how you thought you’d spend your time, that can help you to plan your path into the future. One thing is fairly certain, unless you try, nothing will change. And, you really can own the fact that the path you’re on right now is not the only one open to you.
No one should choose to settle for regrets.
When I originally wrote this post in September of 1997, I was talking about myself, my life, and my life choices. Little did I know the gritty details of the journey I was on or how drastically my life would change in the 20 years since. Even while being aware of my actions and the impact each might potentially have on my life I didn’t understand that I was holding back because of fear. I didn’t believe in myself and I was creating regrets because of fears and “shoulds” that I was buying into. I ended up spending years struggling with my sexuality, years of denying myself experiences because I wasn’t the right weight, and years missing out because “I didn’t have a partner to share experiences it with”.
I had life-changing knowledge and I couldn’t accept it fully until I was really ready. I can tell you that once I was ready the regrets I’d created slipped away, once I understood what I had been unable to see about myself the things I was struggling with were no longer important. Perhaps there’s another lesson in that?
In March of 2017, I found this really lovely TED Talk by Mel Robbins discussing how to live your life without creating regrets in the form of “I wish…”. I hope you enjoy it.
The only thing in your way is you. Make it happen.
#workfromhome #boss #empoweringwomen #selfempowerment #selfesteem #yesyoucan #womenwhowork #imstillwithher #houstonblogger #chubbyblogger #femmeblogger #lgbtq #lesbian #pride #womenover50
Songs to tell her how you feel, a collaborative Spotify Play list – had to share.
Don’t look back. #planahead #yougotthis #dontworry #empoweringwomen #womensempowerment #hiddenillness #motivationalquotes #motivationmonday #motivation #femmeblogger #houstonblogger #chubbyblogger
I found this Mel Robbins talk as I was bopping around the interwebs and in it so much great information, with one brilliant take away quote to help me remember the importance of letting go of fear. You may have heard about it.
Here’s some life changing advice from a talk at TEDxSF by Mel Robbins. The 5 second rule can change your life, I loved what she said, and how she said it, so I really needed to share it with you.
How to stop screwing yourself over – TEDxSF
I’m not going to say much beyond that except to say that I feel the need to blast this quote all over the interwebs:
“If you’re inside your head, you’re behind enemy lines”
– Mel Robbins
Well here I am after a Bayou City Performing Arts meeting at the Midtown Arts & Theater Center Houston: MATCH. The #ootd includes Style and Co Pants from Macys, a swingy stiped tank top from @Target, shoes from TOMs and handpainted by Marsha Maven. On the way to Pho Saigon.
#thaitea #bloggerlife #howtohouston #thisishowtohouston #pholunch #pho #houstonpho #pohohouston #bloggeroutfit #ootd #styleandco #target #toms #effyourbeautystandards #whatfatgirlsactuallywear
As important today as it was when it was made.
“Sexism is always unacceptable”
“No room for sexism in politics”
#barbazzar #barbazzarbaybrook #ilovemyjob #workfromhome #telecommuterproblems #howtohouston #sosuanne #blogger #bloglife #crepes #barbazzarcrepes #mocha #cappuccino