Last week was rough. Bright side first, Cherye suggested magnesium for the restless legs and it’s really helped. The GABA in the ZenMind is also nice relief when I start feeling anxious. Let’s hear it for natural medicine.
I imagine many of you know I was out of work a long stretch last year, I was also out of work in 2015 after being laid off just before planned surgery, I couldn’t even walk or drive for the first 4 months of my unemployment – I share that so you can understand that for 3 years I’ve been in the worst financial situation of my life. That’s pertinent because my new boss thought he’d “put some fire under me” by calling me to remind me (more than once in 2 weeks) that my job was at risk if I don’t deliver this web application project on time, and perfect. As if threatening me with unemployment is going to make me love my job more.
Normally that wouldn’t be a big deal but I also had several other people calling with the same message over and over. I ended up with a week of total anger and frustration because I am 1. sick of being told not to fuck this up, and 2. trying to concentrate and they keep distracting me from my work. So, I was pretty bitchy last week, totally frustrated, and I know that came across in the calls I had and I don’t know how much of the emotions were justified and how much came from being anxious in general.
I had initially felt bad about it but now I’m not sure how I feel.
So, other than making the big car decision I spent most of last week just frustrated and angry. Having strange dreams, but feeling like I’m more alive and in my body than I have in awhile.
In other news my eating habits are different/changing. I’m eating slower and not as much because I’m satisfied sooner. So the Celexa was blocking some important chemicals either in creation or absorption.