Too good at Goodbye

As I’ve been weaning off Celexa there’s been an opportunity for deeper thoughts and realizations. Mental health often requires “the work”. While Celexa gave me respite from symptoms it also has masked opportunities to heal and to do “the work”.

I began taking Celexa in 2013 to help deal with the damage done by a narcissistic male partner. Celexa masked the warning signs and upped my tolerance when I became involved with another person with personality disorder in 2015.

I’m grateful for the respite but I’m looking forward to finishing the ramp down off Celexa, and to begin doing “the work”. I have grown way too comfortable behind safe walls, and grown too proud of my ability to say Goodbye and walk away. I need time to cope with being an unwanted child, and must learn to love myself in the way I always wanted to love someone else.

If all I will have in this lifetime is my Self, I need to be better to her.