Growth isn’t always comfortable, I might go so far as to say that growth within ones comfort level is probably not growing at all. I’m at odds, feeling an urgency to work, but also, the need to take care and time to let things flow and it’s a struggle. I need to give myself time. I almost feel like the need I feel for companionship is just a way of distracting myself from investing in me. Self-sabotage has been something of an art form in my past. I’m scared because I’m letting go, scared because I know the answers I want are on the other side of chaos. My life is beautiful and perfect in its current state of disarray, and that’s wonderful and terrifying. I deserve to see what’s beyond the borders of Should, Must, & Expectations – patience is my friend.