Suanne Brady

Suanne Brady

Real Advice: It’s totally okay to walk away

This is your only life, and it’s finite – the truth is, that no matter your age, you really have no way of knowing when it’s coming to an end. Life is too precious to spend it on things that don’t enhance the time you have. Don’t hang around people or situations that aren’t right for you, that make you fee uncomfortable, or that cause you unnecessary pain; It’s okay to walk away.

That sounds a little selfish and self-serving, okay… there are lines and here’s two examples but I could create a dozen:

  • As a parent you have to spend time parenting, even if your kid sucks. You made that kid, and like it or not, you bear responsibility for their sucky attitude so you can’t just walk away without doing your best to right the wrong, if you can’t right the wrong then you shut down any codependent behavior, only walk away if the relationship becomes abusive.
  • You marry a person who you think is amazing, you’ve been married a year or two and you realize that they’re controlling, manipulative, abusive, or that they have some sort of mental disorder that is causing a disruption in your life that you cannot cope with, or maybe they just suck.

    Ok, you’re married, you made a commitment, maybe you feel guilt, or maybe you’re battered mentally or physically – leaving an intimate relationship can be very difficult with or without abuse. Take the time to do the work on yourself, work on your own self-esteem, so that you can define the line between healthy & unhealthy, between time well spent and time being wasted, things that are helping and things that are hurting.

    Do the work so you can have the strength to make a healthy/clean break and walk away knowing you did what you could.

It’s tough sometimes, throwing in the towel on things or people, because no one wants to be on the wrong side of a life decision. It’s tough to feel like you’re giving up and that you’ve wasted time; Don’t be discouraged…Perseverance is hard work, but you have to know in your soul that it’s worth it. Learn to understand when trying “one more time” is going to bring you that longed for result and when “one more time” is one time too many and to know it’s okay to walk away.

“Don’t be discouraged by a failure, it can be a positive experience. Failure is, in a sense, the highway to success, inasmuch as every discovery of what is false leads us to seek earnestly after what is true, and every fresh experience points out some.”
– John Keats

Related Resources on Walking Away

When to Stay and When to Walk Away – Huffington Post
Why Am I Struggling to Move On After Abuse? from the site Love is
Recovery Connection Top Ten Indicators that You Suffer from Codependency

Note: I really found the daily meditations in The Language of Letting Go to be helpful when I began my journey to break free from codependent behaviors.

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